The Bullet & The Bullseye

I had him in my sights. I could have ended it all with just a little pressure on my right foot. I could have insured that there would be no more phone calls asking me to go places and do things when I'm feeling vulnerable and lonely (he seems to have a 6th sense for this when it comes to me). And I bet I could have very easily gotten away with it if I cried and blinked enough and said something like the sun was in my eyes, or I thought the light had turned green, or he jumped out from behind a bush just as I turned on to my street. I was already turning when he just CAME OUT OF NOWHERE OFFICER! and maybe you should check his blood alcohol level cause I bet it's SKY HIGH. Grissom would. I know he would. Well, he'd had Catherine do it but it would get done none the less and I would be cleared of any wrong doing.

This man... man-child... necessitated coining a new term- 'phuque buddy'. He is what Nick & Jessica would create should they decide to reproduce (god help us all). He possesses all of Nick's good looks and dare I say has even less brain cells than her. He is the genetic prototype of their unholy union.

So you can understand what sucked me in. Don't be too hard on me. He came along at a time when I needed to know I was still attractive. I needed to know someone wanted me. Hard to believe but I was having a bit of a self-esteem problem oh so many years ago. So when this simple headed boy child with his intense green eyes and dazzling smile came along of course I went for it. Little did I know it would stretch into 3 years of off-and-on-again bullshit.

But if nothing else, he proved the be the perfect test case for all my theories. When I wanted him, he couldn't be bothered. When I turned around and said fine, I don't need you, I'm moving on... well, it's been 3 years and he still hasn't gone away completely. He still calls every few months just to see if maybe I've had a full frontal lobotomy and would consider settling down with him.

EEHH! Here are your lovely parting gifts. Thanx for playing.

NEXT!