Don't Phunk With My Heart

First of all I'm gettin' real sick and tired of this layout. I'm probably gonna change it soon.

Next order of business.... you'll all be pleased to know Mr. Ass (he of the unsolicited Ass Shots) has graduated to Mr. Crotch Shot. Oh yes... it was like a bad case of deja vu. I put myself to Away to go grab a drink or check my pulse or something and when I came back what do I see? A lovely profile shot of this dude's package clad in stylish french cut LEOPARD PRINT underwear often seen in films with titles such as 'Debby Does Dallas' or ' Forrest Hump'. Yo Butthead! 1985 called ! They want their underwear back! Soooo anyway... what's even more astounding then the very notion that he thought after I came back to my computer and saw this vision of loveliness in front of me I might like to go out with him... what's even more baffling is that like I mentioned before, after I freaked out over the ass shots and didn't speak to him for months, WHAT part of his brain figured crotch shots would get him over that last hurtle with me?! He completely baffles me, he really does. So long story short (too late) after I let him know how mentally unbalanced I thought he was and I didn't want to talk to him anymore he was actually surprised and told ME to grow up. Really. Then he told me not to dare judge him by a few words and pictures exchanged on the internet. Ummm riiigghhhtttt. Try the Hot Pockets, they're fabulous. He even gave me his phone number and asked for mine. ahhh ahahahhah... HHAAHAAHAHAHA NEVER.

And continuuing with our Back From the Dead Theme I've had contact from two other guys I haven't spoken to in months, both within a day of each other. It's been bizarre. It's almost like they all know each other and they got together and decided to band together and mess with my mind. Isn't that a frightening thought.

Now one of them I always enjoyed talking to but I felt he had too much baggage to pursue, but I always liked talking to him. Just this past Wed as we were both bemoaning our lack of uh... a social life... ahem.. he started suggesting we should meet and 'take care' of each other. I let him go on for a few minutes and finally told him I was heading his way this weekend and while I won't have time to 'take care' of anybody, it would be nice to meet him and say hi. Suddenly his weekend was already pretty chock full of things to do. 'Magine that. I called him a chicken shit and the conversation died pretty quickly after that and I haven't seen him on line since. Apparently I called his bluff and he had nothing. All I'm asking is don't waste my time if all you're looking for is someone different to talk to from time to time, especially when you got my msn name from a DATING SITE. HELLO. It wasn't on Pen Pals 'R Us. And especially when you're being pretty straight forward about the 'taking care of business' thing. PUH-lease. Now he's the one that needs to grow up.

Now Candidate number 2 also lives in the same place as that other dude. We've been chatting again since last week I think. He pissed me off last year when after MONTHS of getting to know each other and putting it out on the table that we dug each other, one day he tells me he bought a motorbike and shortly after took a day trip to a town near here which meant he had to drive right smack through my town. Did he advise me he was coming through and did I want to meet up for a coffee? Nooooo. Did he ever take a day trip down to see me? Noooooo. It was one of those moments where I had to hold onto my pride and admit he just wasn't that into me. I told him I was kinda gagged that he never stopped in to see me, obviously never even thought of it and really never spoke to him again much after that. It died a quick death and in trying to keep with my new trimming the fat lifestyle, I took him off my msn list.

Now he's back out of the same blue all these other guys were hiding in too apparently but it's a year later. I also called his bluff and said 'hey, I'm coming to a town near you this weekend, what's so you stop over and say hi?' It was a bit dodgy for 10 or so minutes and I thought oh yeah, here we go again... and he said he had band practice first (what is it with me and these musicians?) and he wouldn't be done til 10. I said no problem, we'll be up. So he said sure and actually gave me his cell nmbr. No, I haven't tried it yet and I wouldn' t be a bit surprised if it either doesn't work or I get some poor deaf old lady, or the more likely scenario VOICE MAIL followed the next day by an excuse that his battery died or he left it home by mistake or any number of a hundred excuses.

I'm not a pessimist. Really. But I am a realist and I've been around this block a few times. There is something about coming out from behind the internet that scares some people. But like I've said before, if we have lots to talk about normally and you haven't lied about yourself, what's the problem? Maybe I'm just too harsh in judging and it's simply nerves. I can accept that. Not being afraid of much of anything sometimes I forget not everyone is Xena The Warrior Princess. And some people really just want someone to chat to to pass a long boring work day or a lonely evening at home. Maybe I don't float his boat in 'that way'. But be honest about it. Don't jerk me around.

So I am anxious to meet this dude, but I have no delusions of anything developing. Really I don't. For one thing he is kinda young, 10 years younger than me young. He seems mature for his age though or I wouldn't have kept talking to him all that time. But I won't be sitting around Sat evening with giggling school girl nerves. At this point he's an online bud I'm finally getting to meet.

But if I get 'taken care of' at some point in the near future because he's fallen madly in lust with me than who am I to crush a young man's heart and leave him a broken man who sits in his lazy boy all day long incapable of loving another because I not only broke his heart but crushed his spirit... nope ... I just couldn't be that cruel.

now playing: "Pon de Replay" - Rihanna