I have made a new discovery today. It feels somewhat decadent and slightly rebellious getting a little wine buzz on a Monday night. Makes it feel like Friday. Only downer is I'll wake up tomorrow and it'll be Tuesday, which leaves 4 days til I can get a really good buzz on...which is kinda depressing.
Continuing on this 'discovery' theme... this past weekend I discovered a perscription for an anti-depressant in amongst my benzos and frilly under things. I really have NO idea where these came from. I looked at the label, I checked the date, clearly issued to me last Sept... except... I have NO memory of having been issued nor paying for this particular medication. I have googled it and it doesn't seem to hold any interest for me recreationally speaking. If I could at least catch a buzz every now and again I wouldn't be so concerned about finding unaccounted for drugs hidden amongst my unmentionables. But now that ya mention it... I'm kinda mystified.
Citalopram. If anyone can enlighten me I'm all ears. I thought about calling my doctor but the idea of a coversation that went something like this: "Yeah, hi... I found some pills in my drawer and I have no idea why I have them. Can you tell me... Why do I have them? What are they for? Can I catch a buzz from these?" Yeah, me and my doctor just don't have that kinda report. In fact he'd probably advise I come in and ask me to pee in a bottle... just a routine check up of course.
So I need to investigate further. If these are simply 'mood altering'... meh... out they go. I'm not depressed. Moody and irritable sometimes, but not depressed. But even in those spare times when I am down in the dumps I do my best creative work so I go with the flow. I don't want to be synthetically happy. Which is why I can't understand why I would spend good money on something like that. HOWEVER... if I was led to believe these little white pills had other more desirable qualities... this is a horse of a different colour.
I can't believe I wrote a whole post on a bottle of mystery pills I found in my underwear drawer. In the interest of protecting my facade of sanity and intellect I should delete this, but I've had just enough wine that I think it'll be pretty funny in the morning.
now playing: "Life Despite God" -Courtney Love
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2 comments:
Do you even remember going to the doctor in September? Could it have something they gave you for quitting smoking? That's just bizarre.
I remember going to the doctor for my eczema and he gave me the chordiawhateverwhatever for anxiety and some new cream which was hellish expensive and didn't work as well as my old stuff so I went back a few weeks later. That much I recalled last night. I got a script for my usual cream... and apparently these pills, which still remain a mystery.
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