When what you fear the most meets you halfway...

It’s a gorgeous day out there today near as I can tell. The sun is shining with the proverbial ‘not a cloud in the sky’ sky. Hopefully its an omen of good things to come. Not that things have been bad... just sort of staid is all.

And in the ‘it never rains but it pours category’... around the end of July my eyes started to bother me. Itchy, watery- I thought it was just allergies. But it seemed to get progressively worse until I woke up one Sat morning and my eyes were so swollen and red and... crusty... ick.... that I could barely open them. Luckily my eye doc is right down the street and she squeezed me in. The diagnosis was Pink Eye.... PINK EYE?? I was so grossed out. There’s such a stigma attached to that particular diagnosis I felt dirty. The treatment was fairly simple. She gave me some drops to take every 3 hours and sent me on my way, rescheduling a recheck in a few days. But it also vamped up my OCD a notch, like I needed THAT. So now I have hand sanitzer everywhere and I try to cover my hands with my sleeves before touching public doors and so forth, and if I can’t I won’t touch my face until I can wash my hands.

So a week.. ten days... later I get the all clear. Eagerly pop in brand new contacts and make an appt to get new glasses because mine had to be at least 10 years old. But then... a few days later... familiar sensations are returning... what... how.... god damn its back. Off to the doc I go again to confirm its flared up again. But how? HOW? Then something occurred to me... without even thinking I do believe I used the same mascara..... ooopppsssss.... So I bought some cheap make up to use until I was all clear... then tossed that and started with new brushes and mascara, etc. It killed me to have to throw out a pot of MAC Fluidline only a few months old, but I’d rather just have to plunk down $18 for a new one and $12 for a brush then have to toss out ANOTHER set of contacts and go through that grossness again.

So my eyes are all wonderful again and I have a fabulous new pair of glasses that look like they were created in this century. But.... isn’t there always a but... while I was dealing with my eyeballs... sometime back in March I began to have some discomfort in the back of my mouth from a tooth on the top. Nothing major at the time... but like my eyes... it got progressively worse to the point that around the same time I was dealing with the eye problem I would have these random unbelievable pains shooting from it that would stop just as quickly as they’d start. And as if that wasn’t enough... I have a tooth on the other side on the bottom that had a piece break off about 8 years ago and had been fixed twice after the repair had broken about a year or so later. I called it my Bionic Tooth because my dentist basically used filling to rebuild it back up to what it was so it was half silver. He wanted to do a Crown but my insurance wouldn’t cover it so we went this route. He had warned me at the time he didn’t know if it would hold but it did all these years.... until I got a cavity in between the good part and the filling part. It wasn’t hurting me at all but the crevasse was getting bigger and I could feel little pieces of the good part breaking off. Eventually it got to the point that I could feel the silver part lifting up and I knew there wasn’t much left holding it in and I couldn’t chew anything on that side. And then... and THEN a piece broke off the upper back tooth, leaving a really sharp dagger that rubbed against my cheek and that was it. I couldn’t put it off anymore. I had a very small area left to chew my food and I knew once my daughter asked if we could go have Chinese food and I said No all because I was afraid to eat it... well... once you start messing with my food.... well that’s it.

So I drove everyone at work crazy asking who their dentist was, did they like them, and what about the pain... I finally settled on a place and made an appt.

Its not that I was necessarily afraid of the dentist because I loved my last dentist... literally (snicker). But when I first went to him for the aforementioned broken tooth the very first time I admitted I had been avoiding the dentist for a very long time due to fear from a previous barbaric dentist as a child. Don’t get me wrong- the man was sweet... and everyone went to him... but lets face it, dentistry 30 years ago was something you lost sleep over. So I admitted I was quite afeared. But he was a brand new dentist right out of school with all the latest tricks at his disposal so the procedure was painless. Luckily my teeth weren’t in that bad of shape- two small cavities and a root canal and I was all fixed up. Even after the root canal, which I had cancelled twice before I finally went through with it... when he announced he was done 15 minutes later I said ‘That’s it?!" and he said Ayup. I said ‘No way! Gimme another one!" Then he told me to get out of his chair.

So I tried to keep my mind off it as much as possible and kept telling myself there was no point because it had to be done. My teeth were messed up and needed to be fixed. So yesterday off I trotted to my brand new dentist, praying to the gods of such things to please be kind. So after he had a looky see and took an xray he gave me the news I was dreading to hear but had a feeling was exactly what was going to happen which is why I was avoiding going... the teeth couldn’t be saved. They had to come out.

But oddly enough... I kind of went... eeeeeehhhhh... but I don’t remember feeling sick or nervous. I felt more of that previous in the week just thinking of going. But now that I was there it was more resolve that this is what had to be done and I think I was more anxious to get it over with so I wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore. So I asked him when we could get this over with... and he said I could name the place and the time... and I’m thinking, this is my worst effng nightmare... I won’t sleep thinking about it... so I asked him if we could do it today and he said absolutely. I felt so relieved and he looked happy I decided to just go for it. I told him I just wanted to get it over with and he agreed that was the best thing.

He knew I was nervous and him and his assistant were great. He made sure I was good and frozen, even having to give me a few more shots in the back one because it didn’t seem to want to freeze. That one came out relatively easily, just as he said it would, and the second one he had to drill through to basically split it in two because there wasn’t much left to grab onto. I got a few zings from hitting the nerve and for the first time I actually smelled smoke during the drilling... that was odd. And speaking of odd... they have tv’s in the ceilings and they put it on for me and we decided on Dumb and Dumber and in the middle of him yanking on my tooth one of them makes a boobie joke and I start laughing, which makes the dentist and his assistant laugh.
So its all over and done with and most of my face is frozen and packed with gauze and I’m sitting there feeling relieved and happy and really pretty proud of myself for being a brave little soldier. I have a pretty high pain tolerance... thank god... so I’m not much afraid of most things... but the thought of having sharp things in my mouth sends me over the edge.

But honestly.... after that... hahahh I really can’t see there’s anything left for me to be afraid of. He said the rest of my teeth are still in pretty good shape so two teeth going at the same time was just a coincidence and not indicative of some larger problem going on he suspected might be the cause.

PHEW.


Np- "Love Remains the Same" – Gavin Rossdale

I'm Baaacccckkkkkk...

Blows the dust off...
CoughCoughAcccCHOOO!

Hello? Hellleewwww.... is this thing on?

Yes yes I know. Where have I been?

I did trail off on the posting for a bit... my last rant in regards to the dreaded ‘croc’ phenomenon that seemed to take over the earth for a time. Hopefully the scourge has been chased back to the depths of hell where it belongs. However I won’t hold my breath for the one at least for the time being. It is winter after all so they could just be hibernating.

No... I hadn’t really gone anywhere. Sadly my life took a turn for the mundane. Not necessarily boring as I always seem to be off somewhere doing something as evidenced by the messages on my voice from various friends and family members giving me shit for never being home. Just not anything worth blogging about really.

I did have lots of thoughts and ponderances but one day I just decided I wanted to keep those to myself. I didn’t feel like sharing what I was thinking. I do that sometimes. Okay, I do that alot. And I know that’s not healthy for me because when I keep things to myself they tend to mutate and evolve into something something really weird and twisted and sometimes even ugly. But as soon as I open up and discuss its like it never was and I feel much better.

Sometimes I like to be selfish with my thoughts... and sometimes I just like to hold onto them until I can process them myself without outside intervention, then I let it out and open the floor to discussion once I have had time to examine it in private first.

So not only that... but I think my Sprog discovered my blog and that did a much quicker job of cutting off the flow of information much faster than any irrational fear of being psychoanalyzed by people who don’t know shit from shinola.

But lately I have missed writing on my Blawg and I think it was watching Diablo whats-her-face on Oprah, the former stripper who wrote Juno (fan-TAS-TIC movie by the way- go Ellen!), telling her story of how Juno came about. Apparently she was (probably still is) a blogger and one of her constant readers suggested she write a screen play. Which she did. Which he liked. And thus begat ‘Juno’.

And holy tropical storms Batman, I’m surprised we still have power the way the wind and rain is beating against my windows.

I can feel the hinges on my writing chops rusting up and that cannot be allowed to happen. I participated in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month- write a 50,000 word novel in one month) in November. Despite my most valiant efforts I didn’t make the 50,000 work mark, however I came up with a story I really like, reached a respectable 30,000 words and realized with a little discipline I can get back on track. I think I need to find a happy medium there though because last time I was writing on a regular basis I was whipping off 6-10 pages a night. But those were the days when my child went to bed at 9pm on my command. Now she’s a –gasp- teenager and things just aren’t that simple anymore. Be that as it may, I should still dedicate 2 or 3 nites a week to hitting the keyboard for something more productive than Scrabulous or Facebook stalking.

So I am back now I guess. I do find lots of thoughts hit me on the bus commute to and from work each day... gotta start remembering to write those down. If I can’t seem to churn out the great novel that will be the start of my elustrious career... heh... I will at least keep the wheels greased and moving along with a Blawg post now and again.

Loosen Up My Buttons

Wow... it's dusty in here... *cough cough*....

So my blogging went by the wayside for a number of reasons; lack of time being a major factor, but at some point the Sprog discovered I had a blog and made it her mission to go find it. Being the smart cookie she is, she did. I realized at that point I needed the relative anonymity to be able to post from the heart, which was kinda the point of this for me. I realized I wasn't doing this for anyone other than myself which was the purpose in the beginning, but nice to know it stayed that way.

But it's also made me feel like I'm talking to myself sometimes. Oh well. I seem to have a reputation for doing that anyway. At least there's less arguing that way.

So I'm going to look into seeing if I can move the whole shebang under a new url. Any suggestions on how to do that are welcome.

In the meantime I can certainly throw some stuff out there that won't traumatize her should she decide to come back here before I get it moved.

Year 1 in the Big City has been pretty good, all things considered. Hit a number of financial snags that have pretty much wiped out the savings account; bad tenants in the house that cost me money, then no tenants for a couple months; many, MANY car repairs .... yup, that pretty much caused the bulk of the financial suckage. January promises to ease the burden and just in the nick of time as I'm down to the last $50 in my savings account. I'll be getting rent this month, GST cheque comes end of the week, work bonus comes in Feb and Income tax shortly thereafter so the coffers will be filled back up soon enough. It's just a little nerve wracking in the meantime.

Sadly there have been no great adventures, romances, significant events associated with the move to the city... however, I feel my mental health has improved exponentially. I remember somewhere around April, May of this past year sitting on the bus on the way home, looking out the window watching the scenery pass and the oddest feeling came over me. I stared blankly out the window and slowly realized at that particular moment absolutely nothing was bothering me, upsetting me, worrying me... nothing. And it was at that moment that it occurred to me how long it had been since I'd been 'happy'. Not to sound like a dime store novel but it felt foreign and new to have that feeling again, and somewhat disturbing to realize how long it had been since the last time I had been 'happy'. And I could probably put a date on it. Jan 25, 2001. That was the day my mom got sick and everything has pretty much spiraled down from that point. Not everything stemmed from that... perhaps it did... I dunno... but looking back now that just seemed to be the point of no return.

But I don't want to talk about all that today. I think I've finally... FINALLY... dealt with the last five years of all encompassing shit. I still harbour some resentments but hey, I ain't perfect. If I didn't hold on to some of it I wouldn't be on top of my game when the day of reckoning is at hand.

So what else... oh yeah dating... phft.... met a few guys and had set up two dates, one back in the spring and one not so long ago and neither of them came to fruition. One came as close as to me almost getting stood up. Luckily I checked my email to discover he had gotten called into work. Really don't think I buy that load of bologna and I haven't talked to him since. I think he just chickened out at the last minute, which I almost did too, but instead of apologizing later he never spoke to me again. Yeah whatever assclown. Your loss honey.

But in another extremely interesting twist... I have mentioned 'MF' a few times, my 'married friend' .... well guess what... Put away the mittens and gloves, Hell DID freeze over boys and girls because he is now "SF", my Seperated soon-to-be-divorced friend. And yes, I am all OVER that. And have been. Tee hee.

I thought about it long and hard (snicker) because he is still back in Castle Rock. I even told him he has the WORST timing ever. But the last 12 years (according to him it's been 12 years) of flirt but don't touch, countless close calls have come to an end. And in all honesty when he told me the news I thought oh crap... and I really didn't know where that came from until the other night when I was going back through this blog and found a conversation I had with myself about how I enjoyed being the object of someone's lust and maybe it was better to not destroy the fantasy he had in his head. Apparently in my wisdom of over a year ago I told him I had just become a habit now and the fantasy was undoubtedly far better than the reality and he should thank me for not ruining that for him.

But apparently after a few Schmirnoff Ice all bets are off. Fantasy schmatasy this girl got NEEDS man!! ahahahahhahah I'm such a tool. And... *bites nail* it wasn't as ... explosive as I thought it would be after 12 years of foreplay. Nerves, and perhaps one cooler too many played a part in that. But I definitely had fun and don't regret a second of it. And it will happen again.

And lord above wasn't it heavenly to go out with a man who picked me up, took me out, didn't ignore me until it was time to leave. He introduced me to EVERYONE he knew, which is alot of people, I can't even remember half of them. He sat close, subtle touches that made me warm and fuzzy, held my hand going through the crowd... and then.... and THEN... he took me Xmas shopping the next day (I had shit to finish) and carried all my bags for me all afternoon. That was more than I expected.

But alas, the reality, because there's always an ugly reality is he's there and I'm here and I thought it was far too early to have a discussion on exactly what the hell we're doing here. However at some point, and soon, it must be done because I value his friendship and we need to be on the same page to avoid hurt feelings... mainly mine probably. He IS just out of a marriage so maybe he's not ready to jump into a relationship, and a long distance one at that. But there have been some promising text msgs and I'll admit sometimes I expect too much so I'm trying not to get too unreasonable. And I'll be the first to admit I'm a bit of a game player, but if I like you you'll know it. I'm just trying to guage if you like me back and just how much.

So I'll just coast on that for a bit and see where it goes. But if I sense it's going in the direction that it's going to adversely affect our friendship than ... well ya know... our friendship was based on his obsession with me so ya know. whatever. I dunno.

And the Sprog is moping around here being her usual miserable 13 yr old self so my concentration is off. And speaking of.... I wasn't supposed to post anything that would traumatize her was I.... oooopppsss.

np: "Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off"- Panic at the Disco (they really need to condense those song titles)

You're Ugly and Your Mother Dresses You Funny

While my new job unfortunately does not allow me to blog/email/surf anything I wouldn't want Big Brother to see during the day and tends to leave me brain dead in the evenings... plus The Sprog hogging the computer... I have been a dormant blogger for quite some time.

But that is all about to end this evening as I feel so insensed... so inflamed... so disgusted by something it has driven me to brush away the cobwebs and make my public outcry to denounce this vile epidemic sweeping the landscape. It offends me. It causes me to turn away in revulsion, bile rising in the back of my throat as I cringe and grimace at the very sight. It is wrong. Wrong like... like when that guy dug up body parts and built Frankenstein.

Crocs. *shudder*

That's right. I'll say it. I'll dare to be the person to stand up tall and proud and call them for what they are.

THEY ARE UGLY PEOPLE!! STOP WEARING THEM!!

You have been sucked in like a bug in an intake valve. $33 for rubber shoes?! Are you kidding me? And you're PAYING IT?!?! This is one of those times I think some designers (and I use that term loosely... mental patients more likely) got together and decided they'd try it again (after they did a trail run with wide leg pants in the 70s) , just to see how stupid people are. Let's make something really ugly but tout it as 'The Next Big Thing' and you're sssooooooooo not with it if you don't have it and let's see how many people go for it.

Then they lit the Bong and came up with 'Crocs' *shudder*

" But they're so comfortable...." my sister says. Yeah? Well so are polyester stretch pants but I don't see you getting around in those.

Listen to me people, if you're over the age of 12, the shoes look stupid. They're not cute on a 45 year old woman. They're cute on kids, but again- please refer to the age limit I have set forth. You look like a sheep following a trend, just another wanna be who got duped out of $35 for stupid looking shoes. If you wanna get them for mosing around the house or the garden of whatever, fine. Be my guest. But they should put little electric shockers on them so if you try to leave the boundaries of your personal property you get a nice little jolt to the soles of your feet to remind yourself you don't want to go out in public looking like AN IDIOT!!

And if that wasn't bad enough, now you can buy little plastic things to stick in the holes of these moron boots. Like, as if you didn't look retarded enough prancing around in your purple plastic shoes, now you're gonna shell out... what? I bet those little plastic dogs and cats and butterflies are $3 a pop? Am I close? WAKE UP AND SMELL THE RIP OFF PEOPLE.

Okay, I just need to calm down, shake it off. Where are my meds? I don't care what, just anything with 'phine' at the end of it will do.

What we need to do is bring all our troops back from AfghaniPakiRaq and use them to round up all these abhorrences of nature and burn them, bury them, nuke the hell out of them, shoot them into space. Or even better... maybe... send them to AfghaniPakiRaq and leave them laying around for the enemy to find. Drop a few pairs outside the caves and run. Bet it would make it much easier to spot them trying to hide behind a sand dune with those flourescent babies on. Let's see how much longer Bin Laden thinks he can hide in his stylin' lime green crocs with puppies and flowers in the holes. Am I right or am I right? Huh? huh?

If you own a pair of these monstrosities and decide to flame me, well... really... how serious do you think I'm gonna take a dressing down from someone who wears pink plastic shoes in public?


np- 'Faster Kill Pussycat" - Paul Oakenfield

Satanic Lemon

Until I manage to gather a few thoughts in a cohesive manner, please enjoy just another wild and weird thing I found out there in FreakLand.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=9508334956

Don't forget to read the comments. Priceless.

All Hail Beelzefruit!

Est que je peux une vanilla latte por favor?

Sometimes I feel like that poor stupid rat that gets zapped everytime it goes for the cheese, but just keeps doing it anyway.

I have a date next weekend. The plans are loose at this point but they do involve meeting up for coffee on Saturday. While so far he hasn't set off any of my mental red flags (other than that whole 'death metal' thing), past experience won't let me get too excited until I meet the dude face to face. And hear him speak. In full sentences. With no speech inpediment or words that make no sense. And odd nervous ticks count against him. Sorry- call me shallow. I don't care. But I dare any of you to tell me you honestly think a facial tick is sexy. Puhlease. While Terrets can be humourous, it's certainly not sexy.

But yeah, so as long as he is what I think he is, then just maybe I might actually get me some this decade.

And my house is rented! YAAAHHHH!!! Real estate dude came through for me! So now I'll have a little extra moola each month which I SHOULD be putting away... for... something... but for now I'm having too much fun shopping and drinking lattes and these things cost money dammit. I have a life now dammit and lives cost money dammit. I am just SOOOO unbelievably thrilled I don't have to make one more trip to New Cracker to clean out that house. It is finito and buddy moves in on Monday. A-fucking-men. I am now officially... a 'Landlord'. Fear me. Bow to me. Or not. Whatever.

I feel so relieved. I know there were SOME people who probably hoped things would not work out for me on this whole move, so to you I say NAH NAH NAH FUCKING NAH BITCH. I got a great job doing a quarter of the work I was doing before for more pay, I really like the apartment we moved into, my house is rented so there's a little extra money for me, and I live in the city. So please, continue to enjoy your stagnant little life in your stagnant little town while you hear through the grape vine how great I'm doing.

In reality I really should thank her for being such a cunt because in a way she was one of the contributing factors that pushed me to do what I wanted to do all along.

Yeah, maybe later.

np: (Good Riddance) Time of Your Life - Green Day (* I swear I'm not making it up. It just came on the radio. Talk about karma or what)

Snakes On a Plane

I read this tonight and felt myself laughing and giggly with anticipation.

This could (and probably will) end up being one of those craptacular displays of cinematic wanking that's so bad it's good... but the title ALONE... and maybe the fact that Samuel L "I'm a mushroom cloud laying mutha fuckah" Jackson is in it will make it this year's MUST SEE simply for the kitsch factor alone.

This has Mystery Science Theatre written ALL over it

Mark my mutha fuckin' words

http://hucksblog.blogspot.com/2005/08/snakes-on-motherfucking-plane.html

The Sun Also Rises

Ahhhh yes. Here I am once again.
I'm back.
Well I never really went far, just really busy with the move and had sporadic internet access. But we're all hooked up... dialed in... back in the loop as it were.

There's not much to tell, no real huge dramas to report. I got a new job in the city, spent a month of the work week in the City, weekend in Small Town, packing and learning a new job and trying to find a place to live. Gives me a headache just to think about it. But as a wise man once told me... How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time girl, one bite at a time.

So I'm almost to the ass end of the beast. We're moved into a nice apartment, good local, close to school yadda yadda yadda... really like my new job and coworkers - with a few exceptions but if everyone were pleasant and fun I'd have nothing to bitch about. I still am trying to rent out my house... which I thought I already had until I asked for a deposit then SOOPRISE! never heard from him again. Quelle surprise. A pox on him and his famille. I was really leary about him from the get go though so I think that worked out for the best. Gotta learn to trust the gut. So I've handed my domicile over to a realty agency that also handles leases. They advertise, do the viewings, interview the tenants... take care of all that legal mumbo jumbo I'm sure I would screw up and land in front of Judge Judy (eek!). I just *hope*hope*hope* they find me someone soon because although I have a cushion to carry me a month or two, rent and mortgage will eventually land me in a cardboard box, or eating Kraft Dinner every day. Ick.

Anyway... enough of that bollucks. I'm answering Stormy's tag on this one. I usually don't do these because I just can't be bothered sitting and thinking about the answers, but this one is short and sweet and pretty straight forward.

Four Jobs I've Had:
Cashier
Sales person in clothing store
Bussed tables (*shivers*)
Travel Agent

Four Places I've Lived
New Cracker
Halifax
Victoria
Dartmouth

Four Movies I Watch Over and Over
Twister
Colour Purple
Kundun
Harry Potter movies

Four Places I've Vacationed
(Only Four?! Sheesh... I'm a travel agent dammit. How bout my favourite four)
Spain
Seattle
Iceland
Morocco

Four Favorite Dishes
Lasagna
Breakfast at Cora's
Chicken Caesar salad
Chicken Stir Fry

Four Sites I Visit Daily
Hotmail (only during breaks... I got Big Brother breathing down my neck now)
Velvetrope
Lavalife... whhyyyy I have NO idea. Just can't seem to get out of there entirely
Some sort of work approved news site ie cbc.ca, msn.com

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now
Italy
Seattle
Sleeping
a hut on the beach in Tahiti

Four TV Shows I Love
Dead Like Me
My Name is Earl (Never underestimate 15 beers-HA! Gawd I love that show)
The Office
Miami Ink (Chris Nunez if you're reading this... baby call me... seriously... we could so totally hook up)

Anywayz.... more to follow. Working in a large office is certainly entertaining and I'm sure I'll have stories to share. I'm just getting to know the characters but already I can see the office goings on are certainly more interesting than what they're paying me to do.

np: The Faders 'No Sleep Tonight'

Forget the cake

Yes, well it is my birthday and here I am out whooping it up with all my friends.
Whoop.
Well, that was exhausting. I better get off to bed.

np: "Happy Birthday" - Concrete Blonde ... (and it goes a little something like this:)

well outside in the hall there's a cat fight
it's just after midnight.. I guess I'll be alright
laying out on the floor, drunk and poor
how much longer, how much more
well rock me to sleep... strong and deep
screaming cats they give me the creeps
but aside from all that I feel no pain
staring up at the ceiling stain

smoking out the window
feeling far away
news on the radio
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday

Movin' On Up

I'm up I'm up I'm up.... gggzzzzzzz...

I'm falling into the trap where after I send the Sprog off to school, I've been going back to bed... and staying there much longer than I should. While this is of course oh so good at the time, it's screwing me up because I'm not tired at bed time, therefore I'm staying up WAY too late, we're talking 3am here, and what happens in the morning? You got it... back to bed we go. It's a vicious cycle and I'm trying to break it.

I need to get back to my usual pattern because I GOT A JOB!! Normally I might not be so excited because let's face it, jobs are an evil necessity, but in this case it's a brand new start for me because I'm moving. I was raised in this town, went to school in this town, got the fear of jesus in that small town (nudge nudge John Cougar), but I remember being able to hardly wait to leave here in High School, which I did. Then I came back. After a year I could hardly wait to leave here. Which I did. Then I came back. Two years later off I went again. It's like I have this love hate relationship with the place. On the whole it's not a bad place to live and has done nothing to me personally, but after some time passes it starts to feel very claustrophobic to me and I need to get out. It's one of the bigger towns in this province, as far as small towns go, but still not big enough for me.

I had been interviewed by a local agency who was looking for people and when she asked me how firm I was on moving the The City, how written in stone it was, I told her it was going to happen. I am leaving. The interview ended shortly after but I didn't like the vibe I was getting off her. She said a few things that raised some red flags with me too. I came home from that interview wondering if I should have just taken the job and bought myself some time, then decided no, everything was in place now. And the thought of staying here any longer makes my stomach ache.

I've done well this stint. I've stayed put 12 years, but most of that was for the Sprog, not me. Great place to raise kids as long as you make sure they know there's a whole big world out there they can explore and don't get stuck in that small town way of thinking. But I can't tell you how many times I've sat and stared out this window feeling trapped and depressed, tears trickling down my cheeks, literally watching my life go by full of days of nothingness. Get up, go to work, come home, go to bed, get up and do it again. And I tried to spice it up. I didn't just sit here feeling sorry for myself. That's not my thang. I reconnected with old friends. I signed up for classes and workshops and seminars attempting to find new niches of people to ingratiate myself to and while I did make some new acquaintances, I didn't succeed in making new friends, friends I could call up and say Hey, let's go to a movie. But I don't feel that's done yet. That's still an open chapter I feel. I've made new connections which will continue in the New Place. Once I get settled I'll reconnect with those people and see where that road goes. Little cryptic, sorry, but I feel that's going to go somewhere and when it does I'll fill in the blanks.

So for many, many reasons I'm so excited. My new job I believe will be basically a quarter of the work I have been doing, for more pay, which ... HEL-LO what's not great about that? I've had to give some things up, and I wrestled with that, but at the end of the day I decided the stress was going to kill me and it wasn't a bad thing. I will be giving up alot of people that have come to rely on me , people that are awaiting my phone call of where I've gone so they can continue to deal with me, and some of those people I am going to miss, others- not so much. But that was another thing I debated before I started the job hunt because I wanted and needed a fresh start.... do I tell these people and start hearing the same voices on the phone like nothing ever changed (cringe) or do I thank them for their many years and say good bye? In the end I decided to take them with me, thinking I'd need my client list to help me get a job and negotiate some decent pay, but in the end it didn't matter. Where I'm going to work already has an established client they do exclusively. And I can't honestly say I'm all that upset about it.

And finally, after many years me and Stormy get to hang out again. With the advent of email, I swear I talk to her more than my friends in the same town, and even though we're really not that far apart, with kids and animals and jobs and family things and lack of cash flow it was hard to get together. But whenever we did we've always had so much fun (I'm thinking of that picture of Brad in the Yearbook and you going 'aaaaaaa' with the hands and I hur t myself with the garumph) . Now we can just hang out and have coffee, go to a movie, or wander around the mall... or SUNDAY AFTERNOON AT CHAPTERS!!! WWHHHEEE!!! I think the Sprog is more excited at having Chapters at her beck and call than anything else in this endeavor. I said to her the other night that I was so excited for her, the opportunities that will be available to her... she just looked at me like yeah whatever... but I was having a moment and I wanted to share. She'll remember I said it sometime down the line and thank me. Hopefully.

So next Monday evening I arrive at Stormy's, and I start the new job Tuesday morning. That's going to be a little rough for the first bit. One advantage of small town life, it only takes you a few minutes to get to work. This will be an adjustment for me. But ya know, when I lived out West I was going to bed at 11, 12 at night and up early, no problem. That's something psychological with me. I guess when I'm happy where I am, physically and/or psychologically, I'm anxious to see a brand new day therefore I'll go to bed early and get up early.

Anyway... strayed a little bit there... so I'll crash at Stormy's during the week while I'm doing my training and looking for a place to live, leaving the Sprog to stay here and finish the last couple weeks of school. She keeps wailing that I'm 'leaving her, abandoning her...' yeah, no Drama Queen tendencies there. I'm only an hour 15 minutes away and I'll be home on the weekends. Originally I hoped to have my house rented by mid month but since everything was so tied up in getting a job and when that would start, I couldn't really do anything until I knew what would happen there. Now it looks like probably I'll have it available by end of December which could be a bad thing, renting wise, considering it's close to Christmas and all . But I'll try to remain optimistic there.

So lots of exciting news for a change. It's going to be hectic and I'm sure there will be stressful times in the next month, but I'm SO happy to be moving to the city it's all gravy to me at this point. When I moved back here with the bairn 12 years ago I said once she got old enough that I wasn't having a heart attack every time she went out the door I would move back to the city. Well, it's happening a few years earlier than I originally planned, but not a moment too soon to save what's left of my sanity.

I hesitate to say it too soon because they always seem to throw some monkey wrench into the plans, but thank you KG's, thank you.

np: " Pretty Vegas" - INXS

Monday Wisdom

" Some people are the bowling ball... and some people are the pin. The question is Peanut, do ya wanna be the ball or the pin?"

Gawd I love Dead Like Me. Mandy Patinkin (sp?) is now my god. I shall pray to him and sacrifice shoes in his honor while I dance naked around a large fire.

Okay... sacrificing shoes is bit extreme.

So the unemployment thing is... going. I kinda zonked out on doing anything productive for say the last week or so, but I saw an ad today for a PRIMO job (benefits and NO WEEKENDS can I get a YEEHAW) and I know the manager, so provided the pay is there it sounds tasty. But it also served to kind of restart the engines that had stalled. Got me all excited again instead of just sitting around being overwhelmed.

Do you remember the movie Mr. Mom? Of course you do. Everybody remembers that movie. Okay, remember when he got laid off and ended up laying around the house, not doing much of anything, wearing the same clothes every day, making grilled cheese sandwiches with the same iron he's ironing clothes with... " This house is a mess Jack, YOU'RE a mess Jack!" with the beard and the flannel shirt he wore for like weeks?

" Mom... can we have real food for supper tonight? PLEASE?"

np: "Reason To Be Beautiful" - Hole

Will Work For Shoes

I may have to retitle this blog 'Diary of the Unemployed'.

Day 1:

Sent sprog off to school and sat on couch drinking Tim's and watched Hell Boy. It was okay. I give it 2 stars out of 5.
So then I showered and cleaned up and after lunch went to pick up Oochie's ashes from the vet. After a brief cry and a few pokes at the ziplock bag they had her in I went to the local 'spiritual' shop (aka witch store) to see if I could find a proper receptacle to keep her in. I didn't find anything today, but I did narrow it down to something Egyptian seeing as they worshipped cats and believed them to be escorts to the Underworld. I'm sure Miss Ooch would find that a most suitable resting place.
After leaving the witch shop with a few goodies I went to a drug store to poke around then did something so vile, so shocking my daughter would disown me if she found out. I went to KFC. *gasp!* Ever since she joined PETA we haven't been allowed to eat KFC. It's been well over a year, almost 2 years I think since I've had it. I enjoyed every succulent morsel and dispersed of all the damning evidence before she got home from school.

Day 2:

This was today, I think. I'm beginning to lose track of time already.
Today I didn't do so well. After sending Sprog off to school I sat/laid on the couch and flicked around vainly trying to find something suitable to watch. Daytime TV SUCKS. So I went to sleep for awhile and woke up sometime before lunch. Having no money to be deccadent I went for a walk and mopped the floor after lunch. Woo hoo. Hold me back. I'm a one woman party just waiting to explode. You better stand back.

Tommorrow sounds just as promising. I see a treadmill, some weights and possibly some cleaning on the agenda. Normally I wouldn't be so lazy, but I promised myself some downtime right after the work ended because I have been working my ass off without a half decent vacation in 18 months. This is long overdue. However it's only been two days and I'm already finding myself wandering restlessly around the house. Maybe if I had some money to go do things it wouldn't be so bad. Ahhh well. I'm trying to just go with the flow and do whatever comes to mind whether it's sleep or walk or mop the floor. This brief down time is all about me and I think I deserve it.

And on another note, two new (?) tv shows have got me hooked. Dead Like Me, which takes over the previous queen of Monday nites Queer As Folk, is absolutely fucking brilliant! That girl, whose name escapes me, there are just no words. " You, little dead girl, are gonna be a grim reaper..." She's droll and caustic... *sniff*... I feel like I know her personally. Fucking hilarious and thought provoking. I love it.

And "My Name is Earl"... ohmydog... LAUGH OUT LOUD hilarious. If you liked Raising Arizona, Fargo, movies of that ilk then you need to be watching My Name Is Earl. Don't ask me what night it's on cause I can't remember. I'm thinking Tuesday maybe. Do yourself a favour and find it and watch it cause it's definitely worth the 30 minutes.

I'm also kinda digging The Office but I have to wonder though... is it only funny to those of us who've worked in offices? Do say... folks that work in electronics at Walmart find it amusing too? The chick in the cosmetic department at Shoppers Drug mart, would she giggle? Maybe when I get a few extra bucks I'll order a pizza and ask the delivery guy what he thinks of it.

np: " I Didn't Steal Your Boyfriend"

Holy Demolition Batman

We're in the home stretch of getting this place mucked out and I'm tired. I didn't realize how long it's been since I'd been through some of these old files. I'm trying not to take too long strolling down memory lane looking at these files because we have to be out of here Monday, but looking at this stuff brings back memories of things long forgotten. And it also made me realize what an unbelievable packrat I am! YIKES!

I can hardly wait to get this finished. I just want to be done and be able to relax for a few days before I start the job hunt. A friend's band is playing at a local wantering hole tonight but as of this moment I'm thinking I'll have to pass. If I know I will come in here tomorrow I'll feel less stressed today. What does one have to do with the other you say? When I drink I get incredible hangovers so I know if I go out tonight I will imbibe and therefore tomorrow will be a write off. And besides, I don't think I have anyone to go with anyway. Yes, my life has become that pathetic, hence the burning desire to get things packed up, put away and moved to another place.

So I wish those boys that are supposed to be in here moving the big stuff would get their asses back here. They've moved two desks, two filing cabinets but they've been MIA for the last 45 minutes while I have two chairs and a box out on the street out front to hold the parking spot for the truck.

But on a slightly better note, I've gotten more into the Halloween spirit. I usually LOVE Halloween, and I still do, to the point I think it should be a national holiday, but this year I'm just not as fanatical about it. Probably all the general upheavel lately, plus the weather's not been cooperating either with all the rain and such. But last night I put some crosses in the yard, scattered some bones, wrapped a body in a sheet and laid a shovel nearby, splattered some blood around the scene and it feels a little more Halloweenish. I have NO idea about a costume though, which I usually have planned out by July. Halloween night I'll do something I'm sure, but I'm just not feeling the whole scaring the crap out of the kids mode I'm usually in. And believe me, I go WHOLE HOG with the fog machine, scary sounds CD blasting out the window, house in darkness and me dressed in full gothic horror opening the door yelling "WHAT DO YOU WANT! SPEAK OR BE BANISHED!" ahahhahahaahh good times good times.

np: "Bloodletting" - Concrete Blond

Let's Review

In the interest of chronicling my life so I may one day look back on it and chuckle... let's go back over the last 3 months or so.

My puppy dog has massive epileptic seizure he never comes out of and I must put him down.

A few months go by and all is okay... UNTIL... a few weeks ago when my boss tells me the business is closing.

OCH

After 12 years I am suddenly unemployed. While I am very upset this happened, there is a whole other part of me that is actually happy because I have been thinking of moving for the last year or so and now I realize I can. I have enough experience under my belt that I'm not concerned about finding another job and as proof, I've already been contacted by another company and I'm not even finished up here yet. So while I'm certainly sad to see a business fold that's lasted 20 years, and I'll miss my boss cause he was the best boss EVER... I am equally as excited to get out of this boring ass town and back to the city.

So we had the job thing... then... last Saturday we wake up to find my daughter's fish died. I feel badly for her. She cries, I console, we bury it, then she asks for a puppy.

But the worst of all... the absolute worst... one of my cats... mah baby... my soul mate in kat form... the ying to my human yang... is not looking so good. Granted my baby is 15 yrs old and has had a plethora of health problems over the years, to the point I've often reminded her when she's given me attitude that she better take that somewhere else for the amount of money I've spent on vet bills over the years. I had noticed she had started limping and was spending alot of time sleeping, so I kept a close eye on her and after a few days when she didn't appear to shake it off, I called the vet and off we went.

They kept her for 3 days and did what they could, but it wasn't enough. She wouldn't eat. All her muscles had deteriorated, she was anemic, she had ulcers in her mouth. When I went in this past Wed to see her and the vet took her to me I broke down as I hugged her. It was pretty obvious she had one foot in the grave. She looked so horrible. The pain was written all over her face and yet, when I hugged her and kissed her, she purred and meowed, obviously happy to see her momma. She leaned into me and tried to kiss me, but her mouth hurt so bad she couldn't stick her tongue out so she just touched her nose to my forehead to let me know she tried.

*heavy sigh*

The vet advised me they could treat her, but it would be merely maintainting her as she was, which there was no way I could make her go through that. He said I would never get her back to the way she was.

So with alot of tears and a heavy heart I did what I had to do for my baby. I stayed with her and hugged her and kissed her and gently, peacefully, released her from her pain. It was actually alot less traumatic than I thought it would be, and he didn't rush me out, letting me continue patting her and hugging her until I was ready to let her go.

There will never be another cat like Oochie. Yes, that's right... 'Oochie'... like hoochie, without the 'H'. It was a slang term I heard a looonnngg time ago when I first got her as a baby kitten only 2 or 3 months old. I said Hmmmm... Oochie... how do you like that name? And she looked at me, meowed and went back to what she was doing, so Oochie it was. Whenever someone would ask I would tell them it was old Native word meaning 'BitchCat'.

She was so close to human it was frightening. She had perfected the art of the dirty look to the point my sister was afraid of her. I had a bond with her like I've never had with any other animal. I'd talk to her and she'd answer with a combination of chirps and purrs and meows, or sighs if she found me particularly irritating that day. My father called her 'Itchy Bitchy' and the vet asked me one time why I even kept such a cranky cat to which I informed him 'Because I love her! She's mah baby!' Oochie never liked him. She saved her best dirty looks for him. He eventually warmed up to her but they definitely had a mutual hate for each other in the beginning.

But she loved her mama and always let me know. She'd sleep around the top of my head and purr me to sleep, and if I turned my head to face the other way she'd get up and turn around so she was near my face, not the back of my head. I drove her crazy one night turning back and forth just to see if she'd keep changing position. She did every time.

She drove across Canada with me when we moved to BC, and flew back home with me when it was time to return. You could open the car door and ask her if she wanted to go for a drive and she'd hop into the passenger seat, sit there primly and look at me like she was asking where we're off to now.

I'll never forget when we brought Cayman the puppy home. She looked at me as of to say 'What the HELL are you doing?!' Then she looked at him with obvious disgust, shot me another dirty look, sighed, then huffed and walked away like 'That's it man. I am outta here.'

When the movie Stuart Little came out everyone who saw it said Snowball reminded them of Oochie. I had taken to calling her Queen Oochifur over the years for her diva-like attitude.

So please, Karma Gods, I don't know if this is part of the Grand Plan and if I'll see the purpose for all this hopefully sooner rather than later, but NO MORE GOD DAMMIT!!! You crossed the line when you took my cat! I LOVED that cat! Okay granted she was 15 years old but STILL!!! I'm sure she would have lived forever if you hadn't intervened.

I miss mah baby. Alot. When everything felt like shit in a cesspool she was the one bright spot I could always count on. Unconditional love. There's nothing like a little lick on the end of the nose from your favourite furry friend when everything's falling down around you.

I'll see you again Miss Ooch and try not to kick the shit out of Cayman too bad while you wait for us. I'm sure there's rules about these things, even on the Other Side.

np: "Light Years" Pearl Jam

Shit ... meet fan

Well I can't say I wasn't forewarned.
I can't say I didn't see it coming.
I hoped it wouldn't. But of course my luck just isn't that good.
I was like the little dutch boy with his finger in the damn, trying vainly to stop that impending floodwaters from breaking through and drowning everything in it's path.
I've felt on the verge of something... something big for the past couple months. Right now I'm too stunned and heartbroken to figure out if this will be a good or bad thing. There is a part of me that's jumping up and down in glee, rejoicing that that I'm finally free from the shackles that held me bound to a life I was smothering in.
But another part of me... the part that just likes to coast and go with the flow is already popping tylenol and reaching for the wine.

*sigh*

I have options. I'm not concerned to the point I'm freaking out. I'm sad it came to this. It feels like a large part of my life has come to an end. Perhaps I'm overdramatizing but that's how I feel at this moment.

But that little guy that's jumping up and down inside me is asking if I'm fucking crazy... this is what I've been waiting for. Someone made the decision for me and I should be thrilled.

Maybe I will be in a few days, after the shock wears off. If it was just me I had to worry about I'd have been gone five minutes after the words were spoken, a big wave, a smile, an 'It's been a slice, catch ya on the flipside' as I walk out the door into the sunshine wondering what adventure awaits me now.

But it's not just me. Because I have been given the privledge of knowing what the Grand Plan is for me in my life, I know what I'm supposed to do now. But I'm overwhelmed with decisions. There are too many things to think about and it just makes my head hurt.

Where one door closes... another opens.

Someone remind me of this in a week or two.

Ominous

It's dark and raining and I've got heartburn at nine in the morning. This can't be good.

Can't find a betterman

Pearl Jam - 3rd row.

Life just doesn't get much better. Well, 3rd row CENTRE would have been absolutely divine, but I'm not really complaining. Next time.

The concert was SO awesome and would have been even if we weren't so close. They played for 2.5 hours. The last encore just went on and on and on, the band obviously feeling the love the audience was throwing at them. This is my 4th PJ concert but by FAR the best one yet. Something was missing from the other three. That raw energy, Ed just being in the moment pulling his shirt over his head or rolling around on the floor, leaning on Mike during a blistering solo, jumping up and down, he sang almost a whole song with a can of Keith's balanced on his head. That was something special to see. He was relaxed and happy and it clearly showed in the performance.

I can hardly wait to hear the bootleg of the show. I have the boots of the last two in Toronto I attended but I might have listened to each of them once. It's nice to have a momento, relive the show again, but this one I can guarantee will certainly get more play time.

np: Betterman

New Sensation

Nice going JD!
*high five*

At the risk of sounding like an old timer, I remember when this town was a few tumbleweeds shy of a ghost town. Right around the time I was in junior high in the later 70's every second business seemed boarded up and deserted. I recall hearing my parents talking about moving because my father's job was at risk. He ended up losing that position but they moved him around a bit so his job with the company stayed safe until he retired many years later. The town was depressed, the people were depressed, to my young eyes this town had one foot in the grave. Every one could hardly wait to graduate high school so we could get the hell out of here and go to university and start a new exciting life. When people asked where we were from, the answer was often mumbled and accompanied with an embarassed eye roll.

I'm not sure what turned around. I was too young to understand. We're a heavily industrial place with our factories and pulp mill, so I think it was one of the factories got a very lucrative contract the held well into the future that picked us up out of the mire and breathed some life back into the old gal. We've grown in leaps and bounds in just the last few years with the arrivals of more businesses and call centres. Economically we're actually getting somewhere, finally. It's still small town enough to be comfortable and easy going but big enough that we've got more resources here without having to go to The City for it. Still not enough for ME cause I'm a city girl at heart but I can see how much this place has grown. It's still the kind of place though when meeting someone for the first time, inevitably you get asked your father's name and what he did for a living. " Who's your father now?... Oh yes yes yes, now was he the railway guy or the auto parts guy?" Hahhaha I love it. If they knew your daddy and liked him, you're in.

When I had my daughter I moved home from the West Coast because I wanted her to have what I had growing up and I didn't want to have to worry about her every time she went out the door. This is a great place to raise kids... if you make sure they know there's a whole great big world out there to be explored and savoured.

One bad thing about small towns is small town thinking and small town attitudes. But thankfully this is another thing I can definitely see that has changed about us. The defeatist attitude that seemed so prevelant here for many many years seems to FINALLY be gone. In my opinion I think that's what almost killed us; this smothering sense of not being worthy. The Scottish hard working humility our ancestors brought over almost killed us. You don't flaunt your success. You don't flaunt your wealth. You keep your nose to the grindstone, have a pint after work and head home to supper and family. Frivolous pursuits were not looked upon favourably.

It's like our collective heads have lifted. We finally realize that we CAN be frivolous every now and again. We're certainly worthy enough and we have the talent, we have the drive. We're not just humble little hard workin' factory workers and church goers from Pictou County, Nova Scotia... we can be rock stars; we can be country stars. We have just as much right to stand on that stage with every one else and give it our best bloody shot.

When I think of the odds that George Canyon AND JD Fortune have BOTH captured worldwide attention within a year of each other... and they're both from little ole Pictou Co., Nova Scotia... and the two hockey players Colin White and John Sim both made it to the NHL... my heart swells with pride and alot of that pride is for Pictou Co for finally pulling it's collective head out of it's ass and taking a look around at the rest of the world and deciding we want a piece of the action. Granted it seems like we've gone for it with mucho gusto but BRAVO boys, BRAVO. We're making up for lost time world so WATCH OUT.

I joked to my dad this morning that we could become the next Seattle and my daughter in all her 12 year old wry wisdom said "But where would we put everyone? We've only got 3 motels."

Never thought you'd habit

I have made a new discovery today. It feels somewhat decadent and slightly rebellious getting a little wine buzz on a Monday night. Makes it feel like Friday. Only downer is I'll wake up tomorrow and it'll be Tuesday, which leaves 4 days til I can get a really good buzz on...which is kinda depressing.

Continuing on this 'discovery' theme... this past weekend I discovered a perscription for an anti-depressant in amongst my benzos and frilly under things. I really have NO idea where these came from. I looked at the label, I checked the date, clearly issued to me last Sept... except... I have NO memory of having been issued nor paying for this particular medication. I have googled it and it doesn't seem to hold any interest for me recreationally speaking. If I could at least catch a buzz every now and again I wouldn't be so concerned about finding unaccounted for drugs hidden amongst my unmentionables. But now that ya mention it... I'm kinda mystified.

Citalopram. If anyone can enlighten me I'm all ears. I thought about calling my doctor but the idea of a coversation that went something like this: "Yeah, hi... I found some pills in my drawer and I have no idea why I have them. Can you tell me... Why do I have them? What are they for? Can I catch a buzz from these?" Yeah, me and my doctor just don't have that kinda report. In fact he'd probably advise I come in and ask me to pee in a bottle... just a routine check up of course.

So I need to investigate further. If these are simply 'mood altering'... meh... out they go. I'm not depressed. Moody and irritable sometimes, but not depressed. But even in those spare times when I am down in the dumps I do my best creative work so I go with the flow. I don't want to be synthetically happy. Which is why I can't understand why I would spend good money on something like that. HOWEVER... if I was led to believe these little white pills had other more desirable qualities... this is a horse of a different colour.

I can't believe I wrote a whole post on a bottle of mystery pills I found in my underwear drawer. In the interest of protecting my facade of sanity and intellect I should delete this, but I've had just enough wine that I think it'll be pretty funny in the morning.

now playing: "Life Despite God" -Courtney Love

Thoughts arrive like butterflies

Just thought I'd give a little update so y'all wouldn't think I fell into a black hole in cyber space.

There's really nothing new. Just working, eating, working out, sleeping, get up and do it all over again. The Girl is off to school and settled in. First year of Junior High don cha know. She was pretty nervous the weeks leading up to it but after the first DAY she told me she loved it so much she didn't want to see the weekend come.

ARUH?!

I knew she'd like it. She loves new oppurtunities, welcomes change and sees it as necessary so we don't fall into a coma of boredom. She's like me that way. When things start feeling stagnant where I feel I am running through my life on auto-pilot I'll do something, ANYTHING to change things up whether it's new shoes or clothes or even a lipgloss if I'm particularly broke, to heading out of town for a day or two or chopping my hair off. And when I say off, I mean a couple inches. Took me too long to grow this bad boy to just hack it off with careless abandon. But never say never. But I'm more likely to just change colours.

But that's all frivolous girly stuff, but I'm sure they know where I'm coming from with that.

Since this Blawg was basically set up to chronicle my horrors in singledom I should mention what's new on that front.

NADA.

I'm kinda in a 'fuck off' mode as far as men are concerned. I haven't spoken to the dude I was supposed to meet the other weekend at Stormy's place other than a couple lines on msn. He explained that a stag party broke out at the last minute which is why he couldn't make it over.

*smacks lips and cocks a brow*

Yeah. Well while I certainly understand how a party can suddenly erupt without warning, I don't think it's out of line to expect a two minute phone call explaining something came up and you won't be able to keep the aforementioned appointment. In fact, I demand common courtesy. It's all part of being respectful. If I don't rate a quick phone call, you don't rate the time of day from me so shove off little boy. Call me when you grow up and join the human race.

Okay maybe that was a bit harsh, especially considering I had no romantic delusions about developing any type of stable relationship with a man-child who lives a hundred miles away and is 10 years my junior. Although I was willing to explore... my options... and whatever else... came up.

But I digress.

Manners. I expect the same from my family and friends so he's certainly not unique having earned my ire for his lack of consideration. I am as modern as I am old fashioned and I see nothing outdated about treating people with respect, treating others as you would like them to treat you.

So fuck off moron. I'm sure you and your motorbike will be very happy together. Assclown.

Ahhh. That felt good. Did I mention I was as immature as I am mature?

So that's pretty much about it for me lately. Nuttin' new. Going back to see Stormy next week and I can hardly wait. No kid this time. Going to see Pearl Jam. Can hardly WAIT. Just me and her, some babes to entertain us and shopping to boot. Life just doesn't get much better. Okay, well I'm sure there are a few things I could throw in there to perk it up but I'm in a good mood and don't want to depress myself.

now playing: the radio. ick.